My mother was a nurse and was comfortable talking about bodies. She modelled science-based language and always kept things matter of fact. She was a kind, loving role model; and so was my father.
At school things were different. There was so much disrespect and inappropriate behaviour. I couldn’t understand why kids treated each other so poorly and why that was the norm. It fueled a fire in me. I figured there had to be a better way.
Luckily, I also went to camp, starting when I was six, and things were different there. Camp was where I felt like I could safely build my identity and confidence. I was dyslexic and funny. I got comfortable with who I was. I felt part of a bigger community—one that practiced communication skills, had shared experiences, and created meaningful bonds. It was the better way I’d been looking for.
Still, I’d go back to school feeling like I had a mask and armour on. I learned how to play the game. I was the recipient of both wanted and unwanted touch. But I always asked myself what type of person I wanted to be. I believed everyone deserved a sense of love and belonging. I rooted for the underdog. I believed in being kind.
It’s no surprise that I loved being a camp counsellor in my teens. That’s when I first began working with diverse learners and trying to be a role model myself. Then, when I became a young adult I started my own volunteer-run camp for low income kids. Sometimes we took payment in salmon. Eventually, when we lost our funding, I realized I couldn’t volunteer forever because I had my own bills to pay and the camp shut down. I knew I wanted to keep working with kids though, so I got a Bachelor of Education. I became a teacher, and later still a Certified Sexual Health Educator.
Sex ed is now my niche. I’ve created offerings where I see gaps. The work I do is very challenging. It can be exhausting to talk about sexuality in a world that isn’t comfortable talking about it. But I persevere because I believe that if people can have healthier relationships, the planet will be better off. Plus, humour helps take the edge off.
I’m proud to do the work I do. I’m also proud of my own 17-year partnership with my husband, Brian, and my relationships with our three sons. I keep growing, being a better partner, a better parent, and taking care of myself.
As I’ve said, we lead by example.
What kind of leader would you like to be?